CodeWeavers Offers to Buy Microsoft Campus "On Credit"
SAINT PAUL, Minn. (July 24, 2009) – CodeWeavers, Inc. today announced that recent sales trends position them to overtake Microsoft's operating revenue in 2018, based on Microsoft's fourth quarter report dated July 23, 2009 showing a 17 percent decrease in revenue quarter over quarter.
Yesterday while eating lunch at his desk, CodeWeavers President and CEO Jeremy White spied a story reporting that Microsoft's quarterly revenues had decreased 17 percent - leading to the first year-over-year decline in their 34-year history. "I nearly spit a mouthful of a Jimmy John's Turkey Tom sandwich onto my desk in excitement and awe," he said, "because our own revenues had grown by more than 20 percent during our fourth quarter."
Quickly firing up Microsoft Excel (which was incidentally running on Linux via CodeWeavers' revolutionary CrossOver product), White plotted out the point of intersection in which - current trends continuing - CodeWeavers would overtake Microsoft in sales.
The answer: third quarter, 2018.
"The writing's on the wall; a day of reckoning is coming," said White. "Clearly Microsoft is in a tailspin. And that's why we're advising Goldman Sachs and other tech investors that they need to pay more attention to open source products like CrossOver."
Microsoft - based in Redmond, Wash. - is currently the nation's largest software developer, employs 92,000, and has annual revenues of $60 billion. CodeWeavers and the open source Wine project provide the only alternate implementation of the Windows API. CodeWeavers provides software that lets Mac OS X and Linux users run Windows programs without having to pay for a Windows OS license. CodeWeavers currently employs about two dozen people worldwide and their revenues are in the lower seven-figure range.
This summer, Microsoft's pending launch of its Windows 7 operating system was arguably overshadowed by CodeWeavers' launch of version 8.0 of its celebrated CrossOver software, providing even greater functionality for Mac and Linux users to run Windows applications without buying a Windows operating system. White speculates that the success of CrossOver 8.0 will only accelerate CodeWeavers' global dominance.
"Using the same exacting analytical reasoning behind our chart, it is simple to conclude that we will soon become the primary provider of the Windows API. I look forward to shouldering that awesome burden, and determining which arbitrary new API all developers must follow," exclaimed White.
Smell of Victory Puts CodeWeavers CEO in Credit Buying Frenzy
White's forecast for sales increases has strategically altered his company's operational plans.
"I've thrown away the Folger's can in the break room we used to collect coffee donations," he said. "And I lifted the policy requiring employees to use the same coffee grounds for two days running. Morale and productivity have already skyrocketed. But I want more!"
At last report, White had skipped a quarterly staff meeting and was hurtling toward Seattle in his 1993 Subaru Impreza.
"Right now I'm heading to Microsoft's campus with a tape measure and a book of carpet swatches the size of my head. Finally: an office of my own!"
Barely audible over the whine of his powerful 1.5-liter engine, White concluded by saying, "You can never plan too far in advance. I hope Steve doesn't mind me just dropping in like this."
Documentary coverage of CodeWeavers momentous discovery.
Founded in 1996 as a general software consultancy, CodeWeavers today focuses on the development of Wine, the core technology found in all of its CrossOver products. The company's goal is to bring expanded market opportunities for Windows software developers by making it easier, faster and more painless to port Windows software to Mac OS X and Linux. CodeWeavers is recognized as a leader in open-source Windows porting technology, and maintains development offices in Minnesota, the UK and elsewhere around the world. The company is privately held. For more information about CodeWeavers, log on to www.codeweavers.com.
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Contact: Alex Seitz, Haberman & Associates, 612-372-6471, email@example.com.
Eric Davis, Haberman & Associates, 612-372-6465,